a sure-fire investment

We recently moved to a new place (new to us anyway) in an older part of Des Moines. We like it so much better than our old place. All except for one thing: the shower. Before deciding to signing the new lease, Heather and I closely examined everything we thought was important. We opened cupboards, checked outlets, turned the oven on & off, examined closets, and tried out the faucets. The one thing we never thought to try was the shower. It looked to be a new shower head, and seemed like it would be fine. That was until I took a shower the evening of Moving Day. I stood in the shower dirty and sweaty from a long day of moving, longing for a refreshing stream of water to clean me off and renew my energy. Instead, to my horror, all I got was a trickle barely strong enough to clean the dirt off an insect. With every dribble of water that came out, I sunk deeper into the depths of despair. I began to think I never should have rented the place. I envisioned going through the next year of life always feeling a little dirty. My sanctuary that was my shower was gone, and I had voluntarily given it up.

After the shower, my dismay slowly turned to problem-solving. How could I make this shower work better? I first thought about replacing the showerhead, but figured that the previous occupants had surely come up against the same problem and picked an optimum showerhead for the situation. After all, it looked nice and new. I also assumed that, being an old house, there must be a water pressure issue that nothing could be done about short of replumbing the house. As a last resort, I tinkered with the shower knobs and improved the situation slightly. I found out that if I turned the hot water knob on as hard as it would go and then balanced it with the cold water I got a little more pressure than before, making a shower at least tolerable. That has been the state of things the past two weeks.

Thursday night, things changed. I was headed out to Costco to get gas for the car, and decided to thumb through the Costco coupon book we had recently received in the mail. I noticed a $10 off coupon for a Waterpik Linea 12-mode showerhead. I decided to at least take a look at it. It was $37.99, but the coupon made it $27.99. I was skeptical about it working on our shower, but decided to give it a try and return it if it didn't work. It was the best $27.99 I have ever spent in my life! The showehead had a removable flow regulator for houses with low water pressure; I rememoved that and then installed it. It only took about 5 minutes, then I gave it a try. The water blasted out so hard I thought it might bore a hole in the tub. I was so elated I took a 30 minute shower that night, and again yesterday morning, and again last night. As soon as I'm finished writing this blog, I am going to take another shower.

For the cost of a GAP swearshirt, or a dinner for two at Olive Garden, I got something that greatly improves my happiness, productivity, and overall outlook on life every day and night. Pastor Jim recently talked about how consumer products always over promise and under deliver. This is one exception to that rule. The package could have said, "Your're new Waterpik showerhead will fill your life with a renewed sense of joy, fulfillment, and happiness regardless of your life circumstances," and it still would not have over promised. I can't understand why anyone would pay money for a big screen TV, or finish their basement, or buy a new set of golf clubs, and still have a rinky-dink showerhead. If we ever run into a boat load of money and build our own custom house, this is the showerhead I think I'll get.

High Church

When I was in Oxford a few weeks ago I decided to go to an evening prayer service at the University Church of St Mary the Virgin, the church where C. S. Lewis gave his famous sermon, "The Weight of Glory". I enjoyed the service a lot and it made me think about how differently church is conceived depending on where you are. I entered the church and took a seat along the bench on the far right of the room pictured left. The church was totally silent besides a priest across from me thumbing through a few pages in a book. There was a nice wooden stool on hinges I could pull down in front of me to kneel on if I wanted. A few minutes passed and a few more people started to come in. All entered quietly, and acknowledged the painting of Christ that hung at the end of the room. About 6 o'clock a man came around cheerfully handing out all the materials for the service: an order of worship, a Book of Common Prayer, a hymnal, and a Bible. The service consisted of corporate scripture reading, silent meditation, corporate read prayers, hymn singing (without instruments), and a short (10 minute) sermon. I was struck by how simple and uncluttered the service was. I felt as though there were no layers that I had to peel back before I arrived at the purpose of gathering together at church. It was easy to see. There were no apologies for the smallish crowd of 30 or so. They didn't dress up the service with anything other than what was necessary for the purpose of the service: prayer. I enjoyed the read prayers. They were a refreshing break from the spontaneous prayers rarely thought out beforehand that I am used to at home. After the service everyone left quietly, replacing their books, and possibly offering a handshake or two. I left the service feeling like I had really been at church and met with God. It was the first time in a while. I didn't have to worry about lights, videos, knowing words to songs, overheads, the sermon joke, chair placement, greeting people, bulletin announcements, or anything else that often fills a typical to do list on Sunday mornings at home. It made me wonder how much we do in church just keeps the perpetual cycle of church stuff in motion instead of really accomplishing the purpose for which church exists. The crowd was small at the church, but maybe that's okay. Maybe when church is what it is supposed to be the average person doesn't like it.

The 4 Hour Footnote

Last week I had to go to Iowa State to return some books I got through their Inter-Library Loan program, and also photocopy a couple articles. I parked where I normally do at the lot where you can take a bus to campus. It was then that I realized it was the first day of the new semester at ISU. I couldn't take Thomas on a bus packed with students with no seat belts and all my books and his diaper bag. So, I walked from the bus lot up to the library with Thomas in the stroller. 30 minutes and a handful of funny looks later we finally got to the library. First, I tried to go the ILL office to return my books, except there were no ramps for the stroller. I tried several routes and finally just carried Thomas in his stroller down the stairs to the office. I returned the books and made my way back to the main floor so I could photocopy the articles. About this time, Thomas started to get fussy and hungry. So I made my way through a study area of the library to a bathroom. Of course, there were no changing tables there, and there wasn't much room for a stroller and all the other paraphernalia I had. Finally, I got Thomas calmed down enough to take him back out in the library. I made my way to the elevator to go down to floor 1B and get the book with the article I needed, but first I had to stop at a computer and get the call#. So, with one hand holding Thomas and one hand typing one key at a time I got the call# I needed. With no hands free to write it down, I just remembered it. I finally got downstairs and got the book, but there were no copiers on floor 1B. I went back up to the main floor where the copier was out of order. The sign said use the copier on the 3rd floor. So I went back to the elevator and up to the 3rd floor to copy the article. Unfortunately, when I got up there I realized I was in a "Quite Zone" of the library and the copier was right in the middle. Thomas wasn't fussy anymore, but he wanted to play and hear himself talk and yell. This presented a problem. I huddled close to the elevator and tried to set Thomas down in the stroller so I could flip to the article I needed in the book. He erupted into tears, so I picked him back up and tried to get to the article with one hand. I finally found it and tried to get Thomas quieted down enough to make my way to the copier without disrupting all the students in the "Quiet Zone". I had to leave the stroller over by the elevator, and when I got over to the copier I realized I left my change in the stroller. I went back and got the change, and Thomas started making noise again. After about 5 minutes he quieted down again and I made my way back to the copier. I got 2 pages copied and he started yelling, so I went back out of the Quiet Zone and tried to calm him again. Finally, I just decided it didn't matter and I copied the article even though he was making a lot of noise and tried not to make eye contact with any of the annoyed students. We finished, and made our way out of the library, and walked back to the car. I had left for ISU around 8 and it was well after noon by the time I got back. The sad part is that all I needed the article was for one little footnote in my dissertation.

This would have been a quick, insignificant little thing to accomplish if I had been an average ISU student who lives on campus and has no children. But I was not the typical student, and I was repeatedly reminded of that fact the entire time I spent at ISU. Things were designed for the average student, and I was an exception to the rule. This caused me to ask a question: How do the systems and programs we set-up in church for the average churchgoer feel to those who are exceptional? Jesus said,

"THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME, BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR. HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES, AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND, TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED."

Jesus came for the exceptions to the rule. Lord help the church to be a place where all can come and meet with you regardless of how they fit into the mold of our "target audience".

April Showers Bring May Flowers Snow Plowers

I woke up yesterday morning to 2 inches of snow. That's right. Snow on April 11th. I was starting to think about things like planting flowers, getting patio furniture, playing golf, and BBQ. Now I'm thinking about getting the salt off my car that all the snow plows dump on the roads whenever it snows. Quite a change from sunny SoCal. It turns out the spring is quite volatile in Iowa with well over 100 degrees difference between the record high and low (see chart). Apparently our neighbors were not aware of this. They bought flowers, shrubs, and plants two weeks ago and now they are all dead. Hopefully this is the last of this lengthy Midwest winter. I'm counting down the days (literally - see countdown on sidebar) till we can soak up the sun on the West Coast.

The OC

No, I'm not talking about that stupid show on FOX. Nor am I referring to the large, overpopulated county south of LA. I am talking about Trader Joe's Orange Chicken. I finally had it for the first time since moving to Iowa last night. That's 8 months without those decadent, crispy pieces of breaded dark-meat chicken smothered in a sweet & tangy sauce that is hard to describe as anything but "orange chicken sauce". I had been anticipating this moment for the past 7 weeks. We went up to Minneapolis in February and stopped by a Trader Joe's there and got 3 packages of The OC. Shortly after we got home, Heather and I decided to give up meat for Lent (I wasn't thinking about The OC at the time or I never would have gone through with it). This Easter we celebrated the resurrection of Christ by resurrecting The OC out of the freezer. I started thinking that I might have a glorified memory of the meal. That was until I took my first bite. It was better than I even remembered. Maybe this will become a new Easter tradition for our home.

To experience this exquisite culinary masterpiece, visit a Trader Joe's near you.

A Humbling Experience

The saying, "The more you learn the more you realize you don't know," certainly applies to me. I don't know how you could ever emerge from the experience of writing a dissertation without being humbled by the sheer vastness of academia in the western world. I've just finished writing the first chapter of my dissertation. After 45 pages and 11,000 words I'm feeling as though it really is almost an impossible task to contribute something new and useful to the world of theological study. If you're saying it, chances are someone else said it before you, and in a better way.

Writing at a tiny desk on my laptop computer in the Fuller Seminary library, I once made the terrible mistake of looking up from my work and taking in my surroundings. Row upon row, shelf upon shelf, thousands of theological books were all I could see. Where did all this stuff come from? For the last 900 years or so people have been scrupulously studying the Christian faith from a mind boggling number of angles. The sad part is that I'm not sure that the average Christian is seeing things much clearer than the Christians living in 1100AD. Do I really want to contribute another book to the inritus irritus in the theological libraries of the world? Will call# BS1644.b8.P4.134 really produce much better results than BS1644.b8.P3.1699? I doubt it.

I appreciate very much the advice of Thomas A' Kempis who says, "Restrain an inordinate desire for knowledge, in which is found much anxiety and deception. Learned men always wish to appear so, and desire recognition of their wisdom. But there are many matters, knowledge of which brings little or no advantage to the soul. Indeed, a man is unwise if he occupies himself with any things save those that further his salvation. A spate of words does nothing to satisfy the soul, but a good life refreshes the mind, and clean conscience brings great confidence in God." - The Imitation of Christ, Counsels on the Spiritual Life, Chapter 2

I'm a Neo-Orthodox Wesleyan

According to this new foolproof method of diciphering one's theological worldview in less than 15 minutes, I am a Neo-Orthdox-Wesleyan-Evangelical. This is somewhat surprising since I usually call myself a Pentecostal. I grew up in a Pentecostal church, and have consistently worshipped in Pentecostal congregations as an adult. At the same time, it shouldn't be that surprising considering what I have been studying in my free time: Karl Barth's 11 volume Die Kirchliche Dogmatik, one of the greatest theological works of all time. My brother, Allan, generously bought this expensive set for me as a graduation present.

I can hear the conversation now:

Stranger: "So, what religion are you?"

Me: "Christian."

Stranger: "Oh, what kind?"

Me: "Neo-Orthodox-Wesleyan-Evangelical"

Stranger: "Oh, what is that?"

Me: "Um, I'm pretty sure neo means new, so I think it is some kind of new orthodoxy that follows John Wesley's ideas about evangelism"

Stranger: "Oh, but I thought orthdoxy meant keeping in line with past traditons of belief and thought. How can it be new?"

Me: "Uhhh...because QuizFarm said so."

Stranger: "Oh, I see."

Here is how I was scored:

Neo orthodox 75% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 75% Emergent/Postmodern 64% Roman Catholic 54% Classic Liberal 42% Charismatic/Pentecostal 36% Reformed Evangelical 36% Modern Liberal 21% Fundamentalist 14% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com